Fabian Black

hasn't been so good. Today I've felt isolated and the loneliness I usually accept has seemed more painful. I went into town in search of company, but found only strangers. I cried on the bus on the way home.

The end of the year is fast approaching. Here in the UK the weather is typically damp and windy and the days are short. In a lot of ways this has been a hard year for me personally. I'm fighting an ongoing battle with depression. Throwing myself into writing and publishing has been a kind of coping mechanism, though at times I've found it all a struggle and part of me has wanted to give up, because it doesn't seem to be going the way I want it to go. Publishing with Lulu.com can be a very frustrating experience. Sadly, I also have to say that Amazon as a company in cahoots with Lulu.com really does very little for independent authors. The returns on our hard work are miniscule and as far as Lulu is concerned they are set to get smaller still as they have introduced e-books with so called DRM 'protection.' Along with the DRM they have also implemented 'hosting' and credit card charges along with a base rate for downloads. In plain terms they have reduced author chances of selling downloads of books and in the event that we do sell one they will take a bigger cut of any revenue. I'm left with a handful of small change, if I'm lucky. I have to ponder whether it is worth continuing. Lulu has also introduced changes to distribution that again make the publishing experience more difficult and less satisfying, especially for UK authors. It wouldn't be so bad if Lulu informed people of changes prior to implementing them, but it doesn't. It changes things and leaves customers to baffle it out for themselves. They also bring in changes that haven't been properly thought through and which often result in chaos. A great shame, it could be so much better.

As I said, before I went off at a tangent, the end of the year is coming and Christmas is on the horizon. I have mixed feelings about Christmas. In theory I like it, but in reality it brings unhappy memories. In dreams and in fiction I make it near perfect to compensate. Christmas as a theme often crops up in my stories. There are chapters devoted to Christmas in 'Swan Songs,' The Jack And Danny Chronicles' and of course 'Moving On.' All those books are available on Amazon (plug, plug) I have written many short stories with a Christmas them, such as 'Winter Fable' and 'The Holly Bears A Prickle.' The former two stories are included in a collection of my more mainstream and literary short stories. I will presently be bringing them out in a book called 'Tsavorite Steam.' For anyone interested they are currently published in a Christmas paperback version entitled 'The Holly Bears A Prickle: Click Here For Holly Book Details

I like halloween. I like seeing the little ones dressed up and having fun. I like scary films, as long as they're not overtly cruel and violent, I prefer to be thrilled and chilled rather than sickened and traumatised.

If anyone is interested and feels in the mood for a little story with a Halloween theme then here is one I wrote earlier. It has an adult, gay, theme, but is not explicit. It's a rather sweet and sensual coming of age story titled: Dance With A Vampire

Fabian Black